Continual Vigilance

It is easy to put off preparing a presentation, developing a workshop, making calls to clients, writing articles and books, and other tasks. An external deadline can be a great way to make progress toward your goals. If you have been thinking about doing something, but not taking much action, set a deadline. Then, make yourself accountable to someone else for meeting the deadline. When another person expects you to complete a task, you are more likely to actually do what you have been putting off.

• Join a group of people who are all working toward goals. Announce your goal to the group and provide progress reports. The support of the group will help you reach your goal, and the act of reporting to them will cause you to focus on results.
• Work with a partner. If you are each responsible for completing different parts of the same project, failure to do your part means letting down your partner.
• Hire a coach or trainer to keep you on track. Just the fact that you are expected to have something done before your weekly meeting can motivate you. That you are paying for the time can also encourage you to make progress quickly.
• Make a public commitment to having something completed by a certain date. There is nothing like the threat of public humiliation to get you started–and to make you finish. Agree to present a breakout session at your professional association’s annual conference. Sign a contract to deliver the manuscript of your book by a certain date, or start promoting the book you plan to self-publish.

Don’t forget to reward yourself when you complete a task and reach your goal.

Copyright Cathy Stucker. As the IdeaLady, Cathy Stucker helps authors, entrepreneurs and professionals attract customers and make themselves famous. Get resources such as free articles, online courses, marketing tips and more at Cathy’s Web site, http://www.IdeaLady.com/

We have all had times in our lives where someone discouraged our beliefs or even passions in life. Maybe someone told you that you couldn’t do something because of whom you are or where you come from. Maybe they told you that you weren’t “good” enough or that you will never amount to anything. Those comments however small they may seem could actually become loud voices in your head eating away at your self esteem. For someone unsure of themselves, these statements may actually be more powerful than one may realize.

The key here is to not give up on what you believe to be true for yourself. Giving up on yourself only let’s their voices rule your own. Only you know what you are really good at or enjoy doing with your life. It helps to have people support you and believe in you, but if you don’t have that, you can still go on and accomplish your goals. Know that you will meet people along the way that will share your goals and even offer you support. But don’t wait for the support to be there before you pursue your venture. Let the belief begin with you.

Our life challenge is to secure a balance within ourselves and our surroundings. We are faced with so many interferences on a daily basis that challenge our beliefs and our characters. Maybe you have friends swaying you to stay in a certain place or job. There could be family members discouraging your career aspirations. Despite their influence the only person you have to worry about focusing on pleasing is you. Remember you are ultimately the one who has to live with the consequences not them. Distinguish what your wants and needs are from theirs’. Listen to your intuition as it is a voice all on its own.

Everyone is different and therefore our goals and ideas in life are different. Realize that your goals in life will perform a specific task in our society. As long as your thoughts are pure and nobody including yourself is to be harmed then you are accomplishing something for the overall good of our society as a whole.

When we realize the importance and the value of pursuing our own purpose, others opinions of what we want to do become overshadowed. At times however, you may feel it helps to have additional sources of positive reinforcement, but be careful who you choose to ask. Often we seek someone’s approval that realistically we would never get regardless of what we do. Remember that opinions are not laws that were intended to construct how we live our lives. They are simply another person’s view of our lives.

Other people’s opinions of our goals can provide insight, but that does not always mean that their insight is valid. Use your own judgment and know that it is ok to disagree with someone’s opinion even if done quietly. If you do disagree with them, ask yourself why. After evaluation, you may even find a different facet of your own goal or opinion that you didn’t see before. Use the disagreement to your benefit. You will often find that what you will acquire is the strength to begin developing your goals.

Inspirational Artist & Author Meilena Hauslendale’s work and articles are displayed internationally. She is the founder of Silence Speaks International Artist Association and the Editor of Intrigue Magazine. Published books include, Making Your Purpose Your Business and Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships. Email: articles@meilena.com http://www.meilena.com

The biggest time management mistake you can ever make is
forgetting your closest partner in life. The one who stays with
you all the way from cradle to grave, every minute. The one who
drives you through your daily and nightly routines, who runs all
your habits. You want it or not, this partner of yours is the
real manager of most of your time. His name is Your Subconscious
Mind.

You and Your Subconscious Mind make one tightly bound team in
everything you do. Whatever big or small project you undertake,
you two depend critically on each other. And unless you both
work in the same direction, your team hardly makes any big
progress.

But how do you align those directions? Like in any team,
communication is the key. You need to communicate to Your
Subconscious Mind the specific target you want to hit and in
what time frame. Of course, you can take the lead and set the
direction to go. Yet, you still need to convince Your
Subconscious Mind to follow you in that direction and hit your
target.

The challenge is that Your Subconscious Mind has a stubborn and
inert personality. If you just tell him what to do, he does not
listen you well. He already has strong opinions about what you
should be doing instead. After all, he is the one who holds all
your beliefs that you absorbed throughout your life up to now.
And he has a comprehensive toolbox of routines and automatic
reactions to get you through your day.

But don’t give up on this challenge. If you manage to convince
Your Subconscious Mind to drive you in the direction you want to
go, he has the power to make you unstoppable! The power that can
keep you on course through the storms of every day distractions
and interruptions.

But how? How do you convince Your Subconscious Mind to help you?
You need to learn how to communicate in the way he accepts and
understands. That special way of communication with Your
Subconscious Mind is what goal setting techniques and skills are
really all about.

While there are finer points that you can pick up in books or on
my site, here is the core essence of goal setting techniques as
a way of communicating with Your Subconscious Mind.

The most critical element of goal setting is WRITING your goals.
For a number of reasons, this writing process is absolutely
necessary for Your Subconscious Mind to take them seriously.
Writing is the basis of the communication. Anything less than a
clearly written goal will be discarded as unimportant noise.

Note that the goal writing process is a two way communication.
When you write your goal, if Your Subconscious Mind does not
accept that goal as reasonable, he will try block your hand
until you actually write something more realistic.

The second critical element is about the way you formulate the
goal when you write it. You want to get your point across to
Your Subconscious Mind most directly and effectively, in the
language he understands best. That’s why you need to follow
certain rules of goal writing.

In particular, formulate your goal in present tense, as a
complete sentence that starts with “I”. Make the goal as
measurable and specific as you can. Correct and rewrite it until
it is crystal clear.

Set a specific time frame. Set it by finishing your sentence
with a deadline that you honestly think you can meet.

Keep those notes in a safe place and come back to them often to
review and correct your written goals. Keep thinking about them
throughout your day.

Finally, take a few minutes right now and actually write down
three to five of your most desirable goals. Reconnect to that
important partner of yours and start communicating. Right now,
and from now on.

‘Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.’
Abraham Lincoln

I’m happy. My Email software has developed a frustrating problem, it’s been raining for days, the car has sprung a leak which will be very expensive to fix - and I’m still happy.

How can I tell?

How can anyone know when they’re happy? What does happiness mean? Predictably, the term means different things to different people at different times in their lives. For myself, I like the definition ‘An enduring feeling of contentment and capability’ - a sense that life is good on the whole, and that you can deal with whatever happens.

What Do You Really Want?

Since Aristotle, many thinkers have concluded that everything we do is ultimately aimed at achieving happiness. We save for a holiday, long for an impressive car, have another drink, get to know popular people, strive for success - all because we think it will make us happy. A friend once told me, while I was hoping to sign a recording contract, ‘Careful what you wish for - you may get it’. I was offered the contract, signed it and almost immediately it became a disaster. Soon after, I was spending a lot of effort on getting released from it. We tend to confuse what we actually want with things we think will get it for us - and we can learn from our experience.

One sure way to increase your happiness quotient is by making sure the things you do every day fit in with the things you find important - your values. I know successful businessmen who neglect their families by working sixty-hour weeks. When we discuss their careers I usually learn that all their effort is dedicated to giving their families the very best: a private education, a lavish lifestyle. I know wives of such men who feel lonely and unhappy and wish for a simpler, closer way of living. Whoever said ‘Time is money’ was wrong - you can lose money and make it again. Those businessmen often find ways of creating a different balance between work and home, often by learning to let go of things they had felt the need to control and learning how to trust others more and share the load.

Happiness is something you do.

More recently, during training for my work, I realised a vital point about happiness: it isn’t a thing or a place or something that happens to us, it’s an activity. Now I think of it in that way I feel better. I have a lot of choice in what I do, so the chances are that I can do more happiness - hey, it works for me.

Author Andrew Matthews writes on happiness: ‘It is like maintaining a nice home - you’ve got to hang on to your treasures and throw out the garbage.’

Finding Flow

In his book ‘Finding Flow’, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes how he and his team found ways of tracking just how happy people are at different times of day. The key is ‘Flow’ - a combination of high challenge and high skill. People experience flow in different ways, but some things are common to all. At such times ‘…what we feel, what we wish and what we think are in harmony. These moments are what I have called flow experiences ….. athletes refer to it as being “in the zone”… ‘.
For me, flow is when I lose track of time because I’m so absorbed in what I’m doing.

Swept Away

We tend to feel some flow when working, travelling, talking, socialising and having sex. Our strongest experiences of flow tend to be our hobbies and sports, or when responding to a great movie or performance (not passively watching, but on the edge of our seats) or being swept away by music or an exciting football match. The opposite of flow would be deep in an apathetic trance, like the Royle family, gaping at the TV. Flow goes with active, rather than passive enjoyment. It involves stretching ourselves by operating near the limits of our skill. We do flow activities because we like doing them, rather than simply because we imagine they will bring us some benefit. In the process we may experience frustration, pain or expense, yet we still want to take part.

The Happiness Habit

The more I work with people to help them achieve what they want, the more I believe that attention is the key. We all know the story of the optimist and the pessimist looking at the same glass which contains water up to the halfway mark. To the optimist, the glass is half-full, to the pessimist it’s half empty. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist sees the hole. One looks for what’s wrong, the other for what’s right. What are they actually doing that’s different from each other?

When you concentrate on something repeatedly, nerve cells in your brain link up to form networks that act a bit like electrical circuits, each designed to do a particular thing. The thing each circuit does is an unconscious programme, better known as a habit. People normally form habits through repetition. The first time you go somewhere you need to look for street names, maybe read a map. When you’re used to going there you can do it without giving it any attention. The fact is, we spend most of our lives doing our habits. This is fine. As long as your habits are in harmony with your values, you tend to be pretty happy.

New Habits for Old

If your values and habits work against each other they can prevent you from growing as a person, stop you from being able to relax or cause you to dislike yourself. So is this just too bad, or can you really change? Well, it depends on how much of your attention you’re prepared to commit to changing. You see, you form habits by shining the light of your attention on doing something until you can do it automatically. That leaves your attention free for the next learning. When you want to change that habit, you need to give your attention, first to unlearning, then to replacing it. (In my experience this is most effectively and quickly done in trance.) Much of my work is helping people to be in charge of the part of the brain that is the switchbox for their attention so that they can focus on things that bring them flow.

The formula is very simple: whatever you put your attention on fills your life.

Choosing a Vision

This fact goes way beyond the subject of happiness. Top athletes use techniques of mental rehearsal to prepare themselves for success. It’s no accident that the term Vision is so prominent in current thinking. When top performers are studied closely, to find out what the vital difference is, they always create vivid images in their minds of what they want. It seems that the more detailed and desirable the images are the more powerful the effect. Naturally, they still have to do all the preparation and hard work but those factors alone don’t guarantee success, it’s the combination of all the elements that makes an outstanding performer.

Little Voices In My Head

When it comes to happiness, high achievement may not be as important as the way we choose to focus on certain aspects of our lives. Some people run a commentary in their mind’s ear. Whatever they do, they criticise themselves.
‘…there you go again… typical! Whatever you do it goes wrong…you fool…’

Some people act as if they could read minds. They usually don’t like what they guess people are thinking about them. ‘…did you see the way she looked at you? You know what that means don’t you? She thinks you’re stupid…’ or ‘I wish I hadn’t come…they’re sneering at me because I’m not as successful…..’ Those little voices are auditory habits that were originally intended to help you, but have now become unhelpful. You can probably stop doing them by ignoring the words and turning the sound of the voice into something absurd - like Donald Duck, or whoever makes you laugh. People I have worked with have used the voices of Eddie Izzard, Harry Hill, Frankie Howerd, Victoria Wood and many others. Have a go and see what happens to how you feel.

Don’t worry - Be Happy

Broadly speaking, anxiety is imagining what you don’t want and then responding in your body as if it were happening in the present. Feeling down might involve focusing on past unhappiness and feeling as if it was still happening or only hearing criticism, never praise. These are simplifications, but they reveal the kinds of processes that underly these unhappy conditions. In each case, the individual is following habits of mind, often learnt early in life when we are inexperienced and impressionable. The good news is that these are only habits and habits can be changed. In many cases all you need to do is remember to do the behaviour you want for a new habit every day for three weeks continuously and it will become automatic. Some habits are easier to change than others. For losing the more persistent bad habits there are specialist techniques to help you succeed.

Greater Expectations

I don’t mean to give the impression that everyone needs to go around smiling constantly. Tragedies and disappointments happen and it’s important to let yourself feel what you feel at the time. Covering up your emotions can lead to bigger problems later on. What I mean is, just as you expect a cut to stop bleeding and heal after a while, it’s reasonable to expect to move on after grieving or hurting. Nobody needs to put up with persistent unhappiness these days. We have learned more about how our minds work in the last thirty years than in the whole of history and the news is encouraging.

Accepting Your Own Power

I have known a great many people who have changed their minds about who they are and what they can reasonably expect from life. A woman I know decided that she could do more than work at menial tasks for low wages by accepting that she could learn new things. When she told her boss why she was leaving, the boss said ‘You’ll never amount to anything’. She signed up for a training course and found she was right - she could learn. She enjoyed it so much that she learned how to train others. Now she earns well over double her previous income organising courses and trainers and encouraging other people to believe in themselves. She altered the way she saw herself - from ‘I won’t expect much so I won’t be disappointed’ to ‘I have the right to choose how I live my life and how I respond to the world’. She isn’t pretending, rather she has accepted her own power and chosen to wake up to the possibilities life offers.

As Henry Ford said: ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t - you’re right’.

Now, about those New Year’s resolutions… All the best for the year ahead.

Graham Smith’s album ‘Calmtime, relaxation music to help calm your baby during pregnancy, breastfeeding and to help generally with stressed out, crying babies and for all the family to relax’, is available from http://www.calmtime.co.uk
You can read about how he uses NLP and hypnosis to help people live the lives they want at http://www.smithandfriends.co.uk

“I respect the man who knows distinctly what he wishes. The greater part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that men do not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation than would be necessary to erect a hut.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) - German writer, scientist, master of poetry, drama and novel

Recently, I attended a course which was aimed mainly at people who want to start their own business, or in my case, who want to make sure that they have done everything correctly when setting up their business. The attendees ranged from those whose business was just an idea and they were there to find out what they need to do to get it up and running, to those who were further advanced and nearly ready to go. What has become apparent to me is that it doesn’t matter what your idea is and how advanced you are in your plans and arrangements, if you haven’t done the groundwork your business will be on very shaky foundations. This relates to so many things we aim to achieve in life. The groundwork may be quite tedious and laborious, but without it, the rest will either never be constructed, or if it is, it will come tumbling down around your ears very dramatically!

What foundations do you need to put in place to give you a firm start? What are your challenges? What do you need to face up to? Who do you need to talk to, to seek advice or assistance from? Are there courses being offered in your area that could help you build strong and stable foundations for your future? Take action to get those first blocks in place to move you forward.

So many times I hear ‘I know what I should be doing.’ If that is really the case, why not make this the day to start doing it? Stop putting it off. And if you really don’t believe that you need to do it, forget about it. If you are not convinced that it is something that you need to be doing, then you are never going to put in the effort to do it properly, if at all. And if it really needs to be done, either do it yourself as best you can and get it out of the way, or find someone else who is willing to do it for you.

What are your dreams? Have you really thought them through? What can you do today that will bring you closer to those dreams? You may have to break down from there to now in smaller steps, but if you plan it correctly those steps will be steady and sure and will lead you to achieve your goals.

Get going! Putting the groundwork in and then following through requires you to be fit for the job. Have you looked at the people on a building site, especially those who are involved in the first stages of getting the foundations in correctly? Have you ever seen one who was unfit and not able to do their share? It is a very physical job and those who aren’t up to it soon fall by the wayside. Get fit for your future by putting the effort in now and sticking to it.

Starting something new takes commitment. Have a really good think about what you are doing and whether you really want to be doing it. If you are, then do it to the best of your ability - if not better! This is for you, so go for it!

Even if you are past the foundation stages of what you are doing, it never hurts to add something fresh to your thinking and actions. Is there something new that you could introduce to add value to what you are doing? Is there someone whose ideas or expertise you think would help to move things along? Don’t get stuck in the mindset of ‘this is the way it’s always been done’. Sometimes the way it has always been done is fine, but often we should re-examine our practices and processes and see if they need a little adjustment. What do you think needs tweaking for you?

Sometimes we need to approach challenges and problems by thinking ‘out of the box’. It’s time to use your creativity. Use your vision and instincts, as well as your experience and skills to construct new ways of doing things.

Often it seems that doing the groundwork can appear a thankless task. It is often boring and time-consuming, but time and time again those people who have skipped over that bit have had their project and dreams collapse around them. Don’t let that be you. Put the foundations in as best as you can and the rest of the construction will rise accordingly - strong, stable and secure.

Kate Harper is based in the beautiful Highlands of Scotland. Check out her website http://www.harpercoaching.com

She works with people who are fed up with moaning about their lives and have decided to do something about it. If that is you, please take a look at Kate’s website. Her special interest is in promoting Wellbeing through coaching. She is happy to work with people from any part of the world.

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.” Madame Marie du Deffand

Take your first step today and contact Kate.

Copyright 2005 Daniel N Brown

Do you wonder why many of us get the results we get despite our
desire for better. The reason is because our thoughts are
creative and determining our conditions in life.

To desire prosperity and success in life, but yet, always
expecting misfortune, or to be continually doubting our ability
to get what we truly want, is like trying to reach east by
traveling west.

A person cannot consistently doubt his or her ability to
succeed, and then succeed. These thoughts of doubt will always
attract failure.

When you are faced with a difficult circumstance do you expect
the worst or the best? Whatever we expect we attract. If it’s
your habit to always expect the worst you’re simply adding fuel
to the fire, creating more negative circumstances that will
create more negative expectations on your part.

Your beliefs and expectations are the driving force behind your
behaviors and your results. If your expectations are fear
driven, they will impair your normal functioning and keep you
from making positive and long lasting changes in your life.

The good news is, your beliefs and expectations are just habits.

Throughout the early years of your life you may have learned to
expect the worst. It may have been because your parents were
like that and you’ve adopted the same manner of thinking. Or, it
could simply be a negative attitude. But, that too, could have
been picked up by associating with someone else.

Whatever reasons you have developed these habits, if you want to
truly change your results, you must, absolutely change your
habits of expectation and learn to expect the best.

Now, here’s something to think about, Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith
is the substance of things hoped for.” The word “substance” can
be translated to mean, “assurance” or “confidence.” If you are
assured of something, or confident in it, you cannot be fearful
at the same time. In fact, you will have a positive expectation
about this thing you hope for.

Expecting the best is living a life in faith and is what will
ultimately bring you what you truly desire. Jesus said in
Matthew 9:29, “According to your faith let it be unto you.”

On the other side of the coin, negative expectations are really
nothing more than a manifestation of fear. Expecting the worst,
is living a life in fear and is what will ultimately bring you
disappointment and failure. Again, Jesus’ statement in Matthew
9:29 still applies, “According to your faith let it be unto
you.”

Like I said before, the reason we possess positive, or negative
expectations, is simply due to habits.

We need to take whatever steps we can to change our expectations
for our expectations are the key to receiving all the good
things God has for us. Jesus said in Mark 11:24, “Whatsoever
things you desire when you pray, believe you receive them and
you shall have them.”

He said believe you receive, or expect! What good does it do to
pray without expecting God to answer? You might as well be
talking to a tree. The Bible says, “Without faith, it is
impossible to please God, for he who comes to God must believe
that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently
seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6).

A large part of our current circumstances, whether they be
positive or negative, are a result of our faith, belief, and
expectations. If we want to change our circumstances, then
obviously, we need to change our faith, belief, and
expectations.

Want to have great ideas? You could try waiting to see if they pop into your head someday, and they honestly might. However, if you want a more systematic method you can use today, here it is in three simple steps:

1. Get knowledge in the area in which you want the ideas.

2. Use idea-generating techniques.

3. Choose the best ideas from the results.

Great Ideas Start With Knowledge

You wouldn’t expect to come up with a new theory of relativity if you had no knowledge in physics or mathematics. You need some degree of knowledge in the area in which you want new ideas. For truly great ideas, it helps to have a great deal of knowledge.

To create a new transportation device, for example, you would want general knowledge in that field, as well as more specific knowledge. This might include knowing a little about all the current modes of transportation. You might add to that a list of things that have been tried and failed, and a list of all the things that people want in their transportation.

Great Ideas From Techniques

Ideas and inventions start in the mind, and the mind follows certain patterns and rules. This is why tools such as problem solving techniques and other idea generating techniques work so well. Consider the “concept combination” technique, for example. Tell your mind that you need a useful combination of a plane and a motorcycle, and it will search until it finds it. This mind took twenty seconds to imagine wings that expand out at high speed from a motorcycle, allowing it to glide right off the edge of a cliff.

The technique of redefining problems in many ways can open whole new areas to explore. Redefining “inexpensive homes” as “ways to help people afford homes” has lead to all sorts of new financing methods that have made it easier to buy a home even as prices have risen. If “better job” becomes “better way to make money” you open a whole range of possibilities. There are dozens of great idea generating techniques to choose from, each with it’s own advantage.

Many Ideas To Choose From

The more ideas you come up with, the more likely you are to find good ones to work with. This is why you should learn the systematic ways to produce new concepts. Finally, if “great” means “important” to you, you need to work in important areas. There’s nothing wrong with inventing a better clothes hanger, but if you want to change the world, start working on new ways to save the environment, ways to end hunger, new political processes that avert wars and other great ideas.

Steve Gillman has been exploring new ideas for decades. Visit his site for invention ideas, business ideas, story ideas, political and economic theories, deep thoughts, and to get a free course on: How To Have New Ideas (http://www.999ideas.com)

I don’t know many people who would admit to wanting to ruin themselves, but there are a lot of people who are doing everything they can to accomplish that very goal. They certainly don’t see it that way, but if you look at the way they live, you can see it happening.

I knew a man who was very strict on his daughter. This strictness was more than simple discipline. He felt he had to control every part of her life. And, of course, he never liked any of her boyfriends. While his daughter was young he could get away with being an “all controlling” parent.

The sad part of this was that he thought he was being a good parent. It is certainly every parent’s responsibility to protect and discipline their children. But it must always be for the purpose of helping them grow up to make good decisions on their own - not simply to dominate.

As will happen in every case, there came a time when the girl grew old enough to get out from under the dominance of her dad and make her own way. When she did, she ended up marrying the very kind of guy her dad despised. Not only that, but the resentment that had built up in her life caused her to move away from him and not even speak to him for years at the time.

Now, I don’t know whether or not she consciously did all of this for spite, but the result was that her dad was devastated. In spite of his wrong actions and attitudes, he still loved his daughter very much, and the years of alienation were a torture that ruined his health and other areas of his life as he let it “get to him.”

This father did a destructive thing, in his parenting. But parenting is not the only place that this happens. Many people do it in other areas of life and the result is the same - personal ruin. It happens when individuals try to live another person’s life for them. Whether it is as a parent, an employer, a spouse, or any other relationship you operate in, you cannot live another person’s life for them. This is probably the fastest ways to self-ruin that exists on the planet today.

The same problem is all too common in the workplace. When a boss or supervisor tries to micro manage a person to the point of controlling every little action, it creates rebellion. The person will try to sabotage the authority figure, or will quit. This puts the one who is trying to be in control in a position of always struggling to keep the other person in their place. After a point, fatigue sets in and things begin to spiral out of control.

Here is the problem. The nature of human beings is such that each person has the ability and the internal drive to exercise their own free will. People will go to almost any extreme to accomplish it. Families have been destroyed, companies have been bankrupted, and wars have been fought, all in the name of achieving freedom.

Why not take a different approach. Instead of trying to control people, simply define the parameters that need to exist for the organization to run smoothly, and allow people to make their own way within those limits. Instead of generating rebellion, this will make a person feel appreciated and respected. It will make them appreciate and respect you, in return.

If you want things to be different in your life, then don’t look to see how you can go about changing others. Look for ways to change yourself. You simply can’t go inside of another person’s head and change them. Try and you will destroy yourself. But you can do things to change yourself. Then, instead of ruin, you will find the growth and fulfillment you are looking for.

About The Author

Dr. Freddy Davis is the owner of TSM Enterprises and conducts conferences, seminars and organizational training for executives, managers and sales professionals to help develop greater effectiveness and productivity. He is the author of the book Supercharged! as well as the Nutshell Series of books for strengthening business. You can visit the TSM website at www.tsmenterprises.com, or you can contact Freddy directly at 888-883-0656 or davis@iname.com.

MOVING THROUGH CHANGE

Creating any major change in our lives can also create feelings of discomfort. Tiredness, confusion, and uncertainty are among the many emotions that can be experienced. Moving from one way of doing things to another requires a transitional period. The transition is the middle ground that is required for evolution to occur. It’s the place between where you were and where you are going. Usually this middle ground feels unpaved, unstable, lopsided, jagged, and stony. We stumble along with unsure footing wondering if we will ever feel confident again. Our transformation depends on trusting the road will eventually smooth out. Trusting that we are safe even in the midst of change, in the darkness of uncertainty.

I certainly don’t have all the answers for how to proceed through change. But my life experiences continue to teach me that change is growth, change is empowerment, and change is life itself. I continue to realize how to embody the process of change with joy even as fear and confusion are present. The strategies below are steps I take to help ground me when I’m scared during a period of transition. Maybe these strategies can also give you a few ideas that can provide firmer footing to navigate a solid path towards your future possibilities.

ACCEPTANCE

Take a moment breathe deeply. Realize you accepted this transition. No one forced you to change or can force you to complete the change. Although it may not be an easy journey, trust that you will be much better off on the other side. Verbally acknowledge and accept the journey that you determined for yourself. You could say something like, “Universe, I am now ready to accept this journey.” Doing this invokes your personal power to successfully achieve your outcome. Now is the time to open your heart energy and ask, “Universe, how are you going to support me in this?”

GRACE

You may feel uncertain while in transition. Here is a question for you Are you going to curl up, continue to pretend you are powerless (can’t have what you want), and desperately seek someone to rescue you from the middle of the road? Or are you going to gather up all your courage and gracefully walk on your own two feet? Two very different ways to experience the moment. It’s okay to stumble and fall, we all do it. It’s even okay to lie there in the dirt for awhile. We all run our own stories and everyone has had the experience of a temporary pity party. Or as my friend called it the other day I was on my ‘weepy wagon’. She said it was okay. However, she wasn’t going to get in and join me in my weepy wagon of self pity. Instead, she would stay with me and pull the handle until I was ready to get out. It was a weepy wagon of old lies and untruths. I’m walking again much stronger for having fallen.

CHOOSE FAITH

“Feed your faith, not your fears.” Everyday I look at this quote taped to my computer screen. There are only two choices. The greater our fear, the tighter our grip. Do a reality check. Is it time to let go and move into the experience? You will most likely have to move forward while still feeling fear rather than waiting for the fear to pass. Eleanor Roosevelt eloquently stated, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I’ve lived through this horror. I can take the
next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

GET SUPPORT

For each of us, we must walk our own path. No one can save us from this journey. No one can pick us up and drop us off on the other side. The journey itself is what offers strength, insight, and wisdom. So we must walk our own road but that doesn’t mean we can’t bring some friends along to walk with us for awhile. Meet with a nutrition therapist, coach, friend, or advisor on a regular basis to keep you grounded. These people can help you though the periods of self-doubt and instability. We all need someone to lean on and support us through the bumpy parts.

WORDS ARE POWER

Be acutely aware of the words you use. Do they empower you or leave you feeling powerless? Observe your spoken language and the self talk in your head. Is it positive or negative? Is it detrimental or helpful? Is it rooted in fear or love? Does it stay centered in the present moment? Positive, self-affirming, resourceful, and loving language spoken or thought is what allows us to make the journey. Look into your own eyes in the mirror and support your journey.

TAKE A RISK

Change requires us to move from our smaller, confined circle of comfort to one that is larger and more expansive. The edges of the smaller comfort zone need to be faced. Like Columbus sailing off to explore the edge of the ocean, you too are exploring unknown (and feared unsafe) new territory. Choose what feels right for you to safely feel the stretch of growth. Ask yourself each week, “What risk have I taken?” “What success have I experienced?” Make it okay to be a beginner again. It’s how we grow and transform. You will inspire others and find strengths you never knew you had.

CREATE A RITUAL TO HONOR THE CHANGE

Take the time to symbolically acknowledge the journey you are on. It is a stage of growth, new learning’s, and a new attitude. A ritual can be anything metaphorical that has meaning to you. Perhaps it might be setting something free, cleaning your closet, throwing out your diet books, a celebration of the journey with friends, or even listing all the things that have been holding you back upon little strips of paper and burning them. Take physical action in your life to acknowledge the path you are moving along and to open up to new possibilities that await you just around the corner. Simple daily rituals that nurture your soul will respect the transition that you are in. A ritual may help you close a door that needs to be closed. Honor what has come before, learn from it, and let it go. Acknowledge the present, and give thanks for your future. Receive support from your higher self.

EXERCISE

TRANSITIONAL OBJECT

It might help to carry with you a transitional object that reminds you of your success so far, and helps keeps your vision on your overall goal. The object could be something you touch that reminds you of your journey. Or it could be an item that provides comfort. Think of a baby holding onto a teddy bear or a favorite blanket. Or the function of rosary beads. Link your sense of touch to the feeling of success. Touch, stroke, or handle your item with each small (or large) sense of achievement. Then when you gain strength to go on, touching your object again will remind you of your goal. Here’s a list of potential transitional objects you could easily carry in your pocket or on your body:

Small smooth stone

Crystal

Special necklace

Ring for your finger

Sea shell

Symbolic lapel pin

Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved.

Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Nutrition Therapist & Master Energy Healer
Annette@AnnetteColby.com
972.985.8750

“Opening Creative Portals to Success”

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