Continual Vigilance

My clients often explain to me how they set a boundary. They tell me something like, “I set a boundary. I told him he has to stop putting me down in public,” or “I set a boundary. I told her she has to be on time from now on,” or “I set a boundary. I told him he has to stop being critical of me.”

This is not a boundary. A boundary is not about telling another person what to do. It is about telling another person what YOU will do in the face of the other’s continued unkind or undesirable behavior. While it is hard for most people to accept, we cannot control another’s behavior. What we can control is our own response in the face of others’ behavior.

A boundary is about telling your truth and taking action on it. For example:

“I’m no longer willing to be with you in public when you put me down. The next time you do that, I will announce to everyone that I’m unwilling to be put down by you any more. Then I will leave and take the car or a cab home.”

“I’m no longer willing to be late to events because of you being late. The next time you are late, I will leave without you. If you continue to be late, then I will just plan on taking separate cars.”

“Your constant criticisms feel awful to me. From now on, when you are critical, I will tell you that it feels awful and leave the room.”

Then, of course, you have to take the action you have said you would take. If you do not take the action, then what you have said is a manipulation rather than a truth. A boundary means nothing until you are willing to take the action.

The tricky part of this has to do with your intent. If you intent is to control the other person rather than take loving care of yourself, then your statement and action is just another form of control. If your desire is to take responsibility for yourself, then your tone of voice will be calm and matter-of-fact - just letting the other person know what you will be doing or are doing. If your desire is to control the other person, then your tone of voice will be angry, blaming, and accusing, and your energy will be hard and closed.

We cannot hide our intent - it will always come through in our energy and our tone of voice. However you might try to mask an intent to control, the other will always pick up on it and probably react to it with his or her own controlling behavior.

You are coming from a place of personal power when your intent is to take loving care of yourself rather than control the other. Since you cannot ultimately control another, trying to will leave you feeling frustrated and powerless.

The challenging part of this is taking the loving action on your own behalf. In order to take loving care of yourself, you need to be willing to let go of the outcome regarding how the other person will feel and behave. If you are focused on controlling how the other person will feel in the face of your actions, then you will not be able to take the loving action. If your focus is on the other person, such as, “He will feel hurt and angry if I leave the party,” or “She will be furious with me if I leave without her,” or “He will feel rejected and tell me I am running away from conflict if I leave the room when he is critical,” then you will be unable to take the loving action.

Only if you are in compassion for yourself will you be able to act on your own behalf. Compassion for yourself means that you are 100% willing to take responsibility for your own feelings rather than trying to get someone else to do it for you, or rather than trying to control another’s feelings. It means that you are willing for the other person to be upset with you rather than continue to be treated unkindly.

People tend to mirror how we treat ourselves. If you tolerate unkind treatment, you are letting others know that it is okay to treat you badly. By taking loving care of yourself in the face of others’ unkind behavior, you will find that generally others will respect you and treat you well.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Like many things in fly fishing you can ask 10 different fly anglers a single question and you’ll get 10 different answers. Asking what steelhead rod one should use for fly fishing is no different. Every circumstance is different. And the answer varies with each situation. However let’s try to get a generic answer so everyone can at least get started in this rewarding aspect of fly fishing.

RODS
Most steelheaders use at least a seven weight rod. And in fact that is my recommendation. There that would be the end of it, except for one thing. We, fly fishermen have a perpetual habit of complicating things. Choosing rods is no different. A seven weight, in my opinion is an ideal all around steelhead rod, that will work for any steelhead conditions. However if one is fishing out west in big water, under windy conditions, fighting bigger than average fish, then you will be cursing your seven weight rod in no time, as being too light. Therefore before you buy, think about the fishing you most plan to do. If your favorite river is large and the fish are big and the current is strong then seven weight will not be big enough, if the stream is smaller and the fish are in the six pound range than seven weight will be plenty. And some thrill seeking fly fisher’s will use six.

As for length, the absolute shortest rod I would use is 9 foot. With 9 and a half recommended, especially for weights over 7. Again think of the conditions and the same rules for weight, more or less work for length. Longer rods provide longer casts, and more control. Out west two-handed spey rods are becoming more and more popular for steelhead fishing. With roll casting often required. Two handed rods allow the longest casting and can lengthen the fishing season, when high waters would force one off the river, when using a single handed rod.

REELS
When playing a steelhead, the reel becomes much more than just a place to store your fly line. The reel needs to be reliable as steelhead switch directions instantly peeling off line. They need to be large enough to hold your fly line and 150 yards of backing. Large arbor reels are becoming popular as they pick line up in a hurry, when your prized steelie decides to run at you.

LINE
Erie steelheaders tend to use floating line as the rivers are smaller, they are perfect. If you would like a little boost in casting then get a weight forward line, marked by WF on the package. On big rivers one should carry a floating line and a sinking tip line, as the conditions change during the season. Getting the fly down to the fish is vital.

LEADERS
Most steelheaders actually make their own leaders. Using Maxima Chameleon more often then not. Tippets should be 0x or smaller, Erie steelheaders can go up to 4x on clear water days. But bigger river anglers should stay around 0x or .011 diameter to turn over the bigger flies, and to allow for strong arming the fish. For detailed leader recipes check our www.globalflyfisher.com.

Well that’s it if you have never tried steelhead fly fishing you are in for a treat. Use this guide as a starting spot for acquiring the proper gear, pick up a few flies from www.bigyflyco.com and just add water.

About the Author

Cameron Larsen is a retired commericial fly tier and guide. He now operates The Big Y Fly Co. at www.bigyflyco.com

Whether you’re an executive, manager, professional, or entrepreneur, you need to think ahead. When you do it in a formal sense, it’s called it planning, when you do it informally it’s something like speculating.

Whether you’re planning or speculating, the exercise represents just the tip of the iceberg. For the plans or scenarios to amount to something, they have to be implemented. In turn, that usually involves other people.

Which takes us to the subject of communication: How do you convert those ideas in your head into instructions or position papers or even real plans?

I recommend writing, as in the sense of spending at least a few minutes to put the ideas to paper. Several benefits come out of the writing process:

First, you’ll force yourself to clarify what you’re doing and what you want others to do. As long as an idea remains in our heads, it’s not made accountable, so to speak. That is, we don’t subject our ideas to rigorous scrutiny when they’re just thoughts.

But, when we write out an idea, the strengths and weaknesses show up rather quickly; we force ourselves to look at the idea more critically. When I wrote the publishing plan for Abbott’s Communication Letter, for example, the writing process uncovered many key issues.

But, writing it down assumes even greater importance when we need to communicate with others. Since most thoughts for the future are inherently complex or uncertain, a written version of your plan enables you to explain much more.

As you’ve probably noticed, you can’t really deal with much complexity verbally, unless you’re making a speech or presentation. In face-to-face communication, for example, a train of thought often gets derailed by questions or interjections by the other person.

A written plan also communicates to others a broader scope than a verbal plan. After all, when you’re writing, you can bring in the past, cover the present, and look into the future. Or, you can illustrate your points with more detail than you can in a verbal report.

So, let’s subject this article to the writing test, to see if hangs together.

First, the article opened with the idea of looking or thinking ahead, and I assumed — note, I assumed — this thinking implied future action.

Second, you’ll see the idea to take action, or to get others to take action on our behalf, we need to be clear about the ‘what’ and the ‘why’ before we start. Of course, not every action needs this kind of launch; perhaps I should have said “For important projects….”

Third, I suggested the way to get this clarity is to write it out, but in retrospect, perhaps that simply reflects my bias toward writing. Perhaps you manage well simply by thinking, and don’t need to write.

Fourth, I next listed a couple of benefits that flow from writing, and looking back I see a that I had bigger projects in mind when I wrote it. Smaller projects may not warrant the writing process.

So, all in all, subjecting this article (at least the first part of it) to the writing process did have the desired effect, and I discovered a couple of assumptions that I wasn’t conscious of while writing. And, if I was writing a plan, especially a plan for a big project, those would be worthwhile discoveries.

In summary, writing down your ideas not only helps you clarify your plans or goals, but also helps you communicate what you want others to do or think.

Robert F. Abbott is the author of A Manager’s Guide to Newsletters: Communicating for Results, which explains how to create effective newsletters, newsletters that get the desired responses. Learn how to start a newsletter, with real-life examples, at:
http://www.managersguide.com/articles.htm

Some boys have a difficult time keeping a hard on and some women have extremely long sex drives, meaning it takes the woman a really long time to come. Because of this contrast in sex drives, intercourse could turn into a boring and undesirable sexual session. That’s why stubby dildos may be helpful. If the gent climaxes early in the love making session, or even if the chick just takes longer than her man, he can continue to penetrate the female with the dildo. That way all sexual mischief doesn’t have to stop. It gives him time to charge his energy and keeps the woman horny. And so when the guy is prepared to come back into the love making session, the gal will still be aroused enough to accept the bloke. Never spend an evening bored with Sex Toys available online.

Your most sensual field is your brain. And as much as numerous females will not admit this, the penis is a symbol of power, no matter how large or small, it is still associated with fertility. Penetrating your woman with a slim dildo can often make a fantasy of power play reality.

Some ladies like the sensation of feeling full in their vagina or anus. Whenever a sex aid such as a massive dildo, penetrates the vagina or back passage, the muscles contract around it. Many people note the tightening of the above mentioned muscles to be astonishingly enjoyable.

People with a stressful life tend to shorten their lifespan in an alarming way. There are lots of illnesses that stress can cause to your body. Stress is something associated with the state of mind. The mind has a complete hold of the body and it can affect a lot in the body function. Now-a-days with the so called competitive world, people often tend to feel stress out with the constant pressures from work. Plus the unhealthy diets are not doing that good to the body.

Stress can cause a lot of problem in your body. Frequent headaches, fatigues, insomnia and thee causes can lead to other major diseases like asthma, heart ailments, diabetes and even cancer. It is not just the adults that suffer from stress but even children do so.

Many people try their own way to control their stress. Though stress is cause by the state of mind but you an also control it by maintaining your diet. Eating healthy can help you eat a stress less life. A proper diet can help you to relax and control your life all together.

Dr Gillian McKeith is a brilliant nutritionist who has written many books on the healthy way of way. Her books have much information about leading a healthy life and towards a stress less mind. She will guide you on the right track of eating manner and rejuvenating your mind to relax. Her books has helped many people to lead a normal healthy life and changed their unhealthy lifestyle totally.

Step aside PC, it’s the age of the portable computer, or at least that what the enormous demand indicates. Manufacturers are trying to keep up with this but have said that supplies could be scarce. Laptop Computers have been a thriving business year on year for a number of years now and it looks like that will continue. Also with notebooks now it looks like every 6 months or so the technology is already taken over with something new. Gaming laptops are one of the sectors that have seen an increase. If you’re a gamer with a limited budget the good thing is that you can get a gaming notebook a lot less expensive now because the expected life is dropping. I play games on my notebook on a frequent basis and must say I’m delighted how playable some of the intense games are. More positives to come from advanced manufacturing practices is smaller, cooler parts that give way for sleeker, attractive chassis’s. With that mentioned gaming laptops should never be cosidered in the same playing field as their PC rivals. There will be a gap and the emphasis here is that its not a massive deal for the masses. I feel gaming laptops are always interesting to read about because they are constantly testing the envelope on mobile technology. Even though the market share is ruled by brands selling via retail outlets I feel the direct model and custom built laptops will forever be around. With international companies you usually don’t have a clue what they put into the laptop. It just provides the buyer substantial options when it comes down to it. Let me tell it how it is. You possibly aren’t like everybody else and so average notebook computers won’t do. This is exactly why custom laptops are here. I like that fact that there are plenty of small sized brands giving good customer care for custom laptops. Once again a futher coudos to custom built notebooks. I can barely wait to see what notebooks come out next. The popular trend along with those discussed looks to be inexpensive ultra mobile laptops. They have their divided market in the laptop computer market in such a little space of time. Consumers want slim, super weightless machines but they also want them to have massive screens. If we skip out processing power I’m sure we’d witness those versions of laptops today. Market trends indicate that gaming laptops will get more lighter in the next few years. Us techies will see something amazing in the coming months that’s a certainty. I really like the gaming notebooks at http://www.rizeon.com/gaming_laptops/page.php

You have this burning desire you want to be on your own. The temptation is so great that you want to quit your job. Enough is enough. You’re sick of working for other people for a ridiculous pay.

To be your own boss means controlling your own destiny, having your own time and no bosses to report to. Basically, you can do whatever you want.

But before you really jump into a new territory of being on your own, you have to make sure that you’re ready and well equipped.

Below is the checklist that can help you to ensure that you’re ready to be on your own.

1. Have a crystal clear plan.

Do you have a clear idea as to what you want to do next? You must know exactly what your plan is. Is this going to be the same as what you are doing? Or, is it completely different from what you are used to do? Write down your ideas and evaluate the feasibility of your ideas. Ideally, pick an idea you like most and the most profitable.

2. Have a reserve of 6-12 months.

Before you embark on your journey to be your own boss, you must prepare a fund of at least 6 months’
expenses. I prefer a 12-month fund reserve. The reserve is used to cover your daily expenses while you
are just starting out and you receive no regular wages. This reserve is also used to cover unforeseen circumstances that you might be under. It’s extremely important to have sufficient fund as this can remove a lot of stress from you.

3. Support from your partners or friends.

When your plan to be on your own fails or you face a temporary setback, do you have someone to turn to for support? It’s almost guaranteed that you’ll be caught in a situation that can force you to give up. This is the time when you need solid support from someone who cares about you. You need this kind of support to carry on. You need someone to talk your problem out. Identify the person who can give you 100% support while you’re on your way to be on your own. The person can be your spouse, partners, close friends or even your mentors. For me, my wife is the biggest inspiration and supporter. Whenever I feel down, she gives me the courage to stand up again.

4. Tools and resources.

Do you have the necessary resources you need to start out? Can you work from home instead, or you need to rent an office? Do you need to hire people to help you, part time or full time? Do you need a computer and the relevant software? Do you need any special tool or machine for your business? If yes, where do you source for it? By asking these questions, you can prepare a list of tools and resources that you need to carry out your tasks more efficiently and effectively.

5. Acquire knowledge.

If you’re starting out in a new area, how do you acquire knowledge in this area? Knowledge increases your probability of success and helps you to avoid unnecessary mistakes. Knowledge can be obtained
through government agencies, support groups, workshops, books, the Internet, mentors and coaches.

Being on your own can be very challenging. By sharing the information here, it’s my hope that you’ll have a smooth transition from working for people to being your own boss. And also to encourage you to take action if you have been contemplating on the idea, but no action is taken yet. I can assure you that you’ll never regret of making the decision to be on your own.

Abel Cheng offers small and medium enterprises exclusive global profits insider tips in his free publication, Abel Cheng’s Business Diary. To officiate a bi-weekly subscription, please go to
http://www.abelcheng.com/diary.html

Many users often complain regarding offensive ads. Several spyware ads make use of flickering banner or animation ads that are annoying. Often, pop up ads are pornographic and are displayed on a specific website. Hence, while children come across these sites, it can cause nuisance. In addition, perhaps, it goes against the anti-pornography laws in few jurisdictions. They think that keylogging their children’ online activity equals to spying and that such harsh supervision in not required for their beloved ones.

At first phishing consisted only of a social engineering scam in which phishers spammed consumer e-mail accounts with letters ostensibly from banks. The more people got aware of the scam, the less spelling mistakes these messages contained, and the more these fraudulent websites resembled legitimate ones. Phishers are getting smarter. They eagerly learn; there is enough money involved here to turn criminals into earnest students. Data loggers, key loggers are just a few programs which harvest info from your computer. Winclear is the only program created specially to auto remove such spywares. Still it is advisable to compare numerous spyware detectors available in the market and choose the one which best fits an individual’s need. That is why every computer owner needs winclear.

Protect With Winclear :How To Check Internet History
Although computer users are becoming much more adept at protecting themselves from online identity theft threats such as viruses, the public is only just now starting to take notice of the huge increase in crimes enabled by the use of spyware. Winclear is the only software which is capable of removing keylogger programs. Because even if you erase the file that person can use file retriever and in just seconds the file that you had been erased are still available. Winclear has been the industry leader in fighting keyloggers for the last 8 years.

Winclear:
This is an adware and spyware removal utility that detects and cleans thousands of potential adware trojans keyloggers spyware and other malware that may be infecting and wrecking havoc on your PC. That is the reason why you need Winclear installed onto your computer. Some forms of spyware immobilize antivirus and firewall software thereby reducing the user’s security setting leading to further infections by several viruses. Protect your computer security by using Winclear! More about Winclear here: Winclear Review.

If you’ve decided to begin a business it is time to start ironing out those plans. Your first start to opening a concession trailers business should be to meet with the health department for your city. Sit down and have a face to face with someone in authority. This is when you can ask them everything you need to do to start your business. Tell them your plans and ask all about the laws. Maybe they’ll give you a guidelines book to help you through the process or tips.

As you are getting started you’ll need to think out what it is you want to sell. Do you want a quick hamburger and hot dog stand or something more risky? Can you picture grilling up stuffed mushrooms, or your grandma’s chili? You’ll need to plan a menu with ingredients for your business plan. This is one way the health department can look over your stuff immediately and let you know if there’ll be a problem. No problem then you get the green light. If there is now you can make changes.

The next step is setting up and buying all your supplies. This is just the beginning of your ever growing business. Good luck!

One of the essential elements for a small business owner to assess before starting a small business is to understand their market. This is crucial and the data that is collected will one determine how to appropriately price their products and/or service.

Assessing a market helps small business owners define their goals, analyze their competition, and develop a unique selling proposition. Marketing research also assists in:

*creating a primary and alternative sales approaches to a given market,

* making profit projections from more accurate databases,

* organizing marketing activities,

* developing critical short- and mid-term sales goals and establishing the markets profit boundaries

There are specific questions that potential the small business owners should seek to answer while doing their research. These questions include:

* Who are the customers?

* Where are they located?

* What are their needs and resources?

* Is the service or product essential in their operations or activities?

* Can the customer afford the service or product?

* Where can a demand for the service or product or service be created?

* Can one compete effectively in price, quality and delivery?

* How many competitors provide the same service or product?

* What areas within the market are declining or growing?

Research on Competitors

Research on competitors is extremely important. Some ideal places to complete additional research on competitors include visiting industry trade shows to find out what competitors are selling and how they are market their products. Similarly, staying current on industry magazines and publications is helpful as well.

Marketing research is not something that ever stops. It should be an essential part of an overall marketing strategy and plan for any small business owner.

Pricing Products and Services

There are several pricing strategies one can select for a small business. The small business owner should use the approach that will make their good or service the most competitive and increase profits. Common pricing strategies are pricing below the competition, pricing above the competition, price lining, multiple pricing, and identifying cost factors and then pricing accordingly.

Pricing Above the Competition

This approach will reduce the profit margin for a sale. It requires the following:

* obtaining the best prices possible for raw materials or inventory,

* locating the business in an inexpensive area or facility,

* closely controlling the inventory,

* limiting product lines to fast-moving items,

* designing advertising to concentrate on price specials, and

* limiting non-essential services.

Pricing Above Competition

This strategy is possible when price is not the customer’s greatest concern. Reasons to justify customers paying higher prices include: -

* service considerations, including delivery, speed of service, satisfaction in handling customer complaints, knowledge of product or service, and helpful, friendly employees;

* a convenient or exclusive location; and

*exclusive merchandise.

Price Lining

This strategy focuses on carrying a product or service in a specific range. For example, a store may wish to attract customers willing to pay more than $50 for a purse. Price lining has certain advantages:

* ease of selection for customers, and

* reduced inventory and storage costs.

Multiple Pricing

This approach involves selling a number of units for a single price, for example, two items for $1.98. This is useful for low-cost consumer products, such as shampoo or toothpaste. Many stores find this an attractive pricing strategy for sales and year-end clearances.

Cost Factors and Pricing

Every component of a service or product has a different, specific cost. Many small businesses fail to analyze each component of their commodity’s total cost, and therefore fail to make a good profit. Once an analysis is done, prices can be set to maximize profits and eliminate any unprofitable services.

Cost components include material, labor and overhead costs. Material costs are the costs of all materials found in the final product, such as the wood, glue and coverings used in manufacturing a chair.

Labor costs are the costs of the work that goes into manufacturing a product. An example would be the wages of all production-line workers producing a certain commodity. The direct labor costs are derived by multiplying the cost of labor per hour by the number of personnel hours needed to complete the job. Remember to use not only the hourly wage but also the dollar value of fringe benefits. These include social security, workers’ compensation, unemployment compensation, and insurance and retirement benefits.

Overhead costs are those not readily identifiable with a particular product. These costs include indirect materials, such as supplies, heat and light, depreciation, taxes, rent, advertising, transportation and insurance. Overhead costs also cover indirect labor costs, such as clerical, legal and janitorial services. Be sure to include shipping, handling and/or storage as well as other cost components. Part of the overhead costs must be allocated to each service performed or product produced. The overhead rate can be expressed as a percentage or an hourly rate. It is also important to adjust your overhead costs annually. Charges must be revised to reflect inflation and higher benefit rates. It’s best to project the costs semiannually; including increased executive salaries and other costs.

Understanding one’s market and pricing products and services accordingly, is very important part of any small business and an area that should be assessed carefully. Completing this important step will help a small business have an edge over their competition and can help increase profits.

Copyright 2005 Monique Hawkins

Monique Hawkins is the small business owner of the online music box store, “Monique’s Music Box” located at http://www.my-music-box.com/ She enjoys sharing information with business owners that will help them attain success. For additional information about an opportunity for business owners to grow their business financially and strategically, visit: http://www.abrahampublishing.net/app/?af=274476/